March 03, 2016

Things that make me feel insignificant

Severe Weather
Attending Events/Concerts in Large Arenas
Large bodies of water
The Milky Way
Flying in an airplane

These are the things in life that remind me that I am small. That I am one person in a sea of masses. One grain of sand. That I am one mind, soul and being unto myself. It makes me feel insignificant.

I don’t think feeling insignificant is wrong. I think a sharp reminder that indeed I am only 1/7.125 billion on the planet helps me accept where I am and where I am going.

Maybe I am a little too small to be important. Maybe my problems are also a little too small to worry about.

I spend a lot of time in my head. Thinking and processing. I am not sure what the timeline looks like for this, but in the olden days, or so I am told, people really had to do a lot of physical labor to provide for their families. It was a lot of effort to put food on the table. It grew from the ground in the backyards after they spent the year tilling the earth. No Fast Food. No McDonald’s. They didn’t have a lot of time to indulge in what we do today because they were physically doing and at the end of the day they slept. Free time? What’s that?

I am at a very fortunate stage in life where all my basic needs are covered. Food, shelter, water, love, safety, so that leaves a lot of room to play in the space of self actualization. The area where we are prone to dive deep into our emotion health. Where creativity stems from. Who am I and where did I come from.

The very context of the millennial lifestyle is how do I live a full life? How do I get the most out of every moment? How do I pack in more adventure? Can I save enough money to travel the world for a year? I feel like I see one of those articles every single day.

So we always hear “Follow your dreams. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Reach for the stars.” and all the jazz,

To that I say bull shit.

The very reality of the situation is that most of us are probably going to live small and simple lives. Not impacting the masses, but impacting those that surround us. Our families, friends, communities. Possibly reaching up into the hundreds and thousands. Possibly not.

And to that I say, well done. It’s ok.

I don’t think we hear often enough that it is ok for life to be simple. That it is ok for you to have simple dreams. Attainable dreams. To wish for happiness and safety. Love and belonging. Those are valid and real dreams and those can be enough.

Meet Krystle

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3 Comments
  1. Erin Van de Graaff

    This is really beautiful. You put into words something I've been trying hard to understand. I have always had – and loved my – simple dreams. But I married into a family of really big dreamers and doers. I admire and respect them all for that, but at times I've almost felt forced to adopt their big dreams. Those dreams don't speak to me the same way, and for a while I started to feel guilty and wrong for that. Thanks for sharing this, Krystle. I'm glad you spend a lot of time in your head, and I'm really glad when you write out what you're thinking.

  2. katherine

    You're my hero. I always feel like a loser because I don't have huge dreams or goals. Like my biggest dream is stay home and make dolls all day. And I feel lame for that.

  3. fredrongo

    I love this and I love you.